Mozart is everything I aspire to in life
and that’s when it came up and swallowed me millionth dollar
whenever people say they dont like cats because they dont happily greet you at the door i give them the stinkiest eye
"why didn’t you do your homework over the holidays?"
"i need a movie where there are kickass female characters"
"i need a movie where the main characters aren’t attractive"
"i need a movie with annoying talking animals"
"i need a movie where the main character lives in a swamp"
"i need a movie that has all star by smash mouth on the soundtrack"
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”
Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this
stupidest/most awesome joke ever